Last Saturday I went to watch a movie called Bubble. I was an hour early so I went around the corner to a bar called 24/7. It was a cool 'lounge' type place, candle lit with cool jazzy style rap playing in the background. The female bartender and I were the only ones present (Pause…breathe & stop)…I immediately transformed into Clooney Mode!!! We naturally gravitated towards each other and began to chat. I wanted to tell her my name was Paco but since I was in Clooney Mode, the latino thing wouldn't fly. Maybe it would have worked last year in '05 when I was working with the Gael Garcia Bernal Mode. Oh yeah…her name was Caroline and she was an aspiring thespian from Connecticut and an alumna of Northwestern. Of course I told her I was from LA and she quickly realized how cool I am. She mentioned that she almost went to SC but thought Northwestern was a better school. I reminded her that SC beat Northwestern in the 96 Rose Bowl – BITCH BETTA RECOGNIZE!!! Anyway the hour was approaching and I had to watch my movie. As I exited the bar she hollas, "Why don't you come back after your movie?" I was overly ecstatic, however being in Clooney Mode I was able to maintain my cool and replied, "Maybe but I might have to meet up with some people." Of course, that was a lie – I was watching an indie movie by myself, its like my only geek flaw.

My mind began to wander and I asked myself questions, "Does she only want me to come back so I can tip her?" Nah, No Way! I only tipped her $1 for each of the 2 Scotches. She knew I was on the verge of poverty. That's when I was sold that Clooney Mode is gonna do me right for the Two-Double-O-Sex (2006). My ego blew up faster than you can say 'The Dodgers are going to win the World Series.' I was certain that I was gonna bag me some Connecticut tail!!!!
So the movie ends and I return to the bar. A private party was taking place and a rather large line has formed but Caroline made sure I was allowed to enter. Nothing is more pleasing to a man than an inviting lady. I go in, take my seat at the bar and order more scotch. Things have definitely picked up and the place was quite chaotic. Drunkards abound, sluts running wild but I didn't panic…I was in Clooney Mode and I gots a breezy hot on my tip!!!

I caught her a few times starring and smiling so I returned the favor but unfortunately our conversations have been reduced by the maniacal crowd. Sooo…the night winds down and I casually ask for her number, she gives it to me but she also wants my email address so that she can send me information about some off Broadway production which she is a cast member. We exchange information and I leave the bar in full Clooney Mode, I wait a few blocks before I break Mode. Once I do, I feel like I had just inhaled an 8ball of blow. I contemplate and wonder, "Should I wait 2 days to call her?" Umm…'you know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money.' So I dwell on it further and decide to wait 6 days.

A day passes. I call. No answer. I leave a message. I have yet to hear back from Caroline.

Normally I would be upset and wondering why she duped me. However this time was different!! I learned 2 things. The first, Clooney Mode works and its going to be ON in the Two Double-O Sex and second have a backup personality. I think I gave her a little too much Clooney too soon. Looking back I should have thrown in a little Fallon (Jimmy) in there. Balancing the two Modes should come easier once I progress in my Jedi training.